Out of the mouths of babes

“Mommy, is that a man or a lady?” asks Hannah. This is the question that was posed to me by my 6 year old in a rather loud voice at the check-out queue of our local supermarket. Naturally, heads turned our way with tight embarrassing smiles. Thankfully, the person in question did not. Fingers crossed that she did not hear the comment. Or perhaps, “he”? Trouble is, I did not know the answer to that question myself. Children somehow manage to ask the unthinkable at the most inopportune moments. Well, actually, let’s be honest. We were all thinking the same thing, we just filter what we chose to say or ask.

Take for example the age old question “Does my bum look big in this?” When I ask my husband this, I never quite get a straight answer, because let’s face it, he’s not sure which is the right answer, and I’m not sure there is one. If he hesitates in answering the question, I’ll criticize him of having to think of the right answer, in which case he must be lying (particularly if the answer was “no”). If he says “yes” then the rest of the day will be spent with me sulking and accusing him of being insensitive. He usually avoids the question at all costs. His last response to that particular question was “It’s all relative.” This left me baffled, wondering what he meant by that. Relative to what? But clearly he achieved his goal, because it did end that line of questioning quickly and swiftly (one point to him).

My daughter on the other hand, doesn’t even need to be asked the question. She is rather forthcoming about her thoughts. Whilst stepping into the shower, she prods me with her finger and asks “Mommy, why is your bum so wobbly?” Oh help! Given that we’re in the privacy of our home, I chose to answer her truthfully “Because mommy eats too many sweeties.” However, I should have given my answer some thought, because lo and behold, when we’re having tea with friends and I’m tucking into a scone that has been smeared with butter, laden with heavy cream and a dollop of sweet strawberry jam, she says (again in her loud voice that seems to cut through any other conversation in the room) “Mommy, you mustn’t have too many sweets or your bum will get wobblier!” Well, yes, thank you for pointing that out to me, I was trying not to feel guilty about eating it, but I guess now I will.

Every night we end our day with a bedtime story and once the lights are out, it’s an indication for sleep time. Hannah however, always uses these few minutes before her eyes finally close to share things about her day with me. One night in particular, she starts telling me about all the things she misses about Africa – her grandparents, her dogs, cats, fish, her friends and how she can still remember the house we lived in. I ask her what about the house she misses the most. Is it the trampoline, the swimming pool, the jungle gym? She tells me the thing she liked the most about our home was her family and we’re still all together so she doesn’t miss the house so much. Bless her!