Gone Potty

Until recently I believed our daughter had a sharp sense of humour. Case in point, when explaining the different titles people use we went through our own family members “Dad is Mr Smith, Mom is Mrs Smith, you are Miss Smith and your brother is Master Smith”. To which she replied “Oh no he’s not! He’s Monster Smith!” Very appropriate pun (as he really can be a monster), and thus very funny.'

Lately however, the jokes have gone south. “What happens when a goat poos?” is asked with uncontained glee. “What happens?” I ask with some genuine enthusiasm. To which she replies “It poos!” and she collapses on the floor laughing hysterically. Right.

I’ve since learnt that the words “poo”, “bum”, “fart”, “bottom” and “wee” are also hilarious and can be used on their own for high impact comedy, no need for it to be part of a little story or even to attach it to an actual sentence. Merely shouting them out randomly at someone (not unlike Tourette’s Syndrome) is apparently very funny indeed. I’ve been assured that this is very normal behaviour for a six year old, and like any other phase, this too shall pass.

However, it appears that whilst girls outgrow this unsavoury humour of the potty variety, boys don’t. And this extends well into their adulthood. It is the reason why shows such as “Jackass” exist, why farting under the duvet is always a cracker, and even a whoopee cushion can elicit a laugh from a grown man.
My son, who is turning three later this year, is already obsessed with bodily functions that result in poos, farts and wees. He always inspects his “masterpieces”, laughs at his own farts and even watched, with intense fascination, a pony make a number two out in the field on a recent trip to the countryside. I can see where this is headed.

My only chance for surviving my family’s idea of the height of humour is to join in...

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish building, when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!" Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Channel No. 5, $200 an ounce!" About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks at both beautiful women, then bends over and farts and says "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."